My son and I were listening to the new Taylor Swift album on a drive to play lacrosse on the East coast. It was early in the morning, and the red & orange fall trees canopied the road as we talked about why certain people in life feel like home when you meet them. Why, out of the millions of individuals on Earth, do we find ourselves connected to someone in a different and sort of magical way. People talk a lot about this feeling, and it’s often described as meeting a soulmate. So often we search for a soulmate without ever asking what it really is, and my question is, "How can we search for something when we don’t know what we are searching for?” And the bigger question, “Does who you are in that moment of your life affect who you connect with in your life?” I thought it would be interesting to google the definition of a soulmate, here it is…A soulmate is a spiritual part of a human being, a person’s moral or emotional nature or sense of identity- the emotional or intellectual energy or intensity.
In other words, it’s the moral and emotional nature that define it. I love this phrase, “intellectual energy.” Have you ever noticed that people that have a curiosity and desire to learn make your heartbeat a little faster, there is something about this energy they put out into the world that feels a bit electric? I remember in college meeting someone out of the blue. I was standing next to a pool table around 11:00 pm and we never stopped talking about life all night long into the morning hours, just like that when you least expect it you connect in that unbelievable magical way.
Mick Jagger recently played in Dallas, and I can’t stop marveling at his ability to work, sing, create at age 78. To me that is the greatest achievement of all in life, to be 78 years in and still be soulfully contributing to the world. One of the most profound moments that has shaped my life is when I went to visit my father when he had been fired from an NBA job. He was sitting in a new home among boxes, no furniture, talking about how he was going to take this new team to a championship. It didn’t matter if my dad was coaching an NBA team or 5 guys at the rec-center. His soul was alive at every age and even in his most difficult moments.
The tricky part of all of this is bearing the loneliness that comes along sometimes as you are walking through life and strangely, sometimes the loneliness is the hardest when you are with someone. Too many people are afraid to be alone, and in the process sacrifice their own destiny in return for telling the world they have a companion. What I know to be true is the loneliest place to be is with someone who doesn’t believe in you. To live with someone that isn’t curious or aligned with you intellectually and emotionally, it doesn’t only lack energy it depletes yours.
Could it be possible that we are all looking to a soulmate to fill so many categories? Best friend, lover, intellectual companion, provider, and the list goes on. But maybe the secret lies in looking less at what someone can do for you and more about what your soul is doing for the world. In the process, I imagine your world will fill up with a family of soulmates.
Perhaps the greatest soulmate of all is the relationship you have with your own soul. You must travel alone in this world even when you are traveling beside someone wonderful. You must also leave this world alone, so the biggest question should be about your own soul. Does it have faith in life and are you helping others and your soulmate have faith too? I imagine that it is in this state that you will connect in the deepest most meaningful way with another human being. The kind Taylor Swift talks about, the kind Henry and I were talking about on our ride. The magical kind that takes you by surprise, makes your cheeks blush, your heart quicken and lights up everything around you, especially your soul.
We are so excited about our pop up tomorrow from 4-7 PM at Beverley’s! Make sure to note the location change, it will be at Beverley's not Bistro 31. Join us at 4 PM for Tik Tok Live from Beverley's for a chance to win a pair of pajamas! Speaking of pajamas, they are finally releasing tomorrow, November 16th, at 12 PM! We also just restocked the Erica Skirt in Black Polysatin. Grab one before they are gone!
Album of the week: Taylor Swift, Red (Taylor's Version)